How Many of Your Neighbours Do You Know ?

 

Neighbours seem to have become a very insular breed, I know that through speaking to people in their homes before i retired in June 2011, A lot of people dont even know the names of their neighbours, They see them leave for work in the morning then returning home at teatime and thats all they see of them. In the winter months it seems to be worse, 'Neighbours seem to go into hybernation once the clocks go back and we have the dark nights, Not to be seen again until springtime, Bit like the first cuckoo of spring.

I have considered setting up a local newsletter, but i really dont think neighbours these days want to share any personal information with the world, Suppose it can be tricky with such things as "Identity Theft" and Security issues,

I know that my wife and i have invited near neighbours to 'pop round for a cup of coffee, the excuse usually is "Thanks but by the time you get home from work, "you know how it is. etc, A few weeks ago i was talking to a near neighbour about the same topic and even he admitted that he hadnt got a clue who most of his neighbours were. Bit of a sad reflection of life today though.

With technology people have loads of Facebook friends and yet often dont know much about those who live next door.

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Permalink Reply by Richard Alexandar on January 6, 2012 at 16:33

Good for you, Christine. Before I re-located, I was involved in a POPPs project. It was in a small town which had outgrown its industrial heyday, and had a fragmented population, with problems alcohol-related problems, but great potential. I joined a steering group to set up an over 50s movement with a strong identity. We held public meetings, co-ordinated with existing regular events, such as a luncheon club, Tai Chi, Community transport, and brought everything under the umbrella of a new name.

From this successful launch, a few of us set up another steering group which started a U3A. It was amazing. At our first public meeting we had 84 people, and over 60 of them joined (and parted with their subscription!) on the spot. I set up a creative writing group, and ran it until making plans to re-locate.

I don't know if POPPs is still going (Partnership for Older Peoples Projects), but I have been told that our pilot scheme was replicated in two more towns in the same region. 

Permalink Reply by Anna Felicity Tandy on January 7, 2012 at 12:16

Gosh where do you live? You are lucky. We have lived in North Wales for over 3 years and really find it very hard.  Infact luckily we rent and are therefore mooving.

 

Friends are important as we get older, but it seems you have to have lived in the same place for years before making friends,

Permalink Reply by marilyn shipley on November 26, 2011 at 18:46

When I was growing up I knew all the neighbours on our road, as well as a lot further afield - mostly as a result of my Mum having lived in that same house from being two years old. So if she hadn't have known her neighbours it would have been strange! However, things do change, people move away or die and it is now a very different place - my parents also died and I moved away. It was a lovely childhood though, we all knew each other and we had such a wonderful community spirit. We lived on a council estate, and we felt we were so fortunate, and we had such lovely neighbours. However, the last house I lived in was an ex-council house in a nice area that I had bought. Some (though not all) of the families were awful. My life was hell for the eight years I lived there and the teenagers vandalised my car (which had to be left on the street) most weekends. The reason for that was that I lived in a corner house with a wall around it where the teenagers gathered most evenings, and in gangs at weekends and I objected to them hanging around my house. Unfortunately, they were supported by their parents so I didn't really have much joy moving them on. One weekend a brick was thrown through our lounge window. When I phoned the police I was told they couldn't do anything since I hadn't seen who did it, and didn't send anyone to investigate. For the whole time I lived there, I had to call the police on a regular basis to report harassment and vandalism. I was so happy to be able to move five years ago to a lovely area with lovely neighbours. There are only 14 families living on a small crescent in a rural area. What a difference in attitude. I never had cause to call the police before I moved into the last house (eternally surrounded by trouble-makers) and haven't had any need to call them since moving away. Two years after I moved from that house, one of the neighbours was killed by a youth who threw a brick at his head. I feel that if I had stayed, that could so easily have been me. Where I live now, the neighbours are mostly retired and wouldn't dream of harassing anyone. I know all their names, and we all exchange cards at Christmas and help each other whenever we can. It's almost like the home of my childhood and I think this is how neighbourhoods should be, not like the last place I lived. Places where everyone feels safe, and that if they were in trouble they could rely on someone to help. I feel so lucky to be where I am. This doesn't mean I won't consider moving in the future but my past experiences ensure that I will think long and hard before I do move anywhere else.

Permalink Reply by Anna Felicity Tandy on November 27, 2011 at 11:37

I have lived in North Wales for three years now.  My neighbourhood is mostly retired people and I have not socialised with any of them a all, ever.  I seak to the one r two hat actually walk around the area bust mostly there are a lot of closed door and no oe bothers to chat.  I hate it. I want to move somewhere that people actually have a social life and accept new neighbours with open arms. Where is that apart from in Asia and the East. In the East of the world the elderly are cared for and visited by thier families and grandchildren. Grandparents are very much involved with caring for the children whilst both parents work. It is a good policy as if you do not work, you do not eat. No social security anywhere else but UK. When will people learn.

On reading the new Equalities in Social Care Bill,, and taking time at the moment to study it, there are 453,000 people in UK receiving home care from either the social services, voluntary organisatiions, family carers etc. This is the statistics from 2009/10 so as our elderly population is bigger now in 2011 there could be as many as well over 500,000. Who is caring for them, and when the care package no longer works, that is being provided by social services, which seems to be happenig more and more now, who is going to CARE. That is the most important think we need to get the government to address.

Permalink Reply by Richard Alexandar on January 6, 2012 at 16:47

Hello Geff,

I find my new home in sheltered accommodation is a bit of a ghetto. I know people within the scheme, but no other neighbours on the street. They don't even look towards our building, and I don't feel confident of a friendly reply if I were to force somebody to answer.

So I've gone out of my way to make a social life where I can find it: I go to choir practice once a week, writers' group once a week, and I've made a point of befriending people in the nearest decent cafe. I'd go to a good pub, but gave up alcohol 20 years ago on doc's orders.

I have also discovered Facebook and Twitter, both of which I use carefully. My next door neighbour in the flats meets up with me for a coffee frequently, which completes my social life.

Permalink Reply by Anna Felicity Tandy on January 7, 2012 at 12:20

I so agree but, as we who are on  here should lead by example and make the effort to get together in areas,  to try to make a difference for our own communities. So lets try to get our friends on Grey Pride, which should be ALL of us, get in contact with each other.  I will start, I live in Penrhyn Bay. Llanndudno. Anyone else in North Wales???

Permalink Reply by Hilary Theresa Nelson on January 9, 2012 at 9:38

We are lucky, as we live in a small seaside town and our road contains a good mix of ages and we have an Alexandra Road  Residents Association.  This came about as the Council chopped down trees in our road and didnt replace them so we are busy fund raising.  We probably know over half the residents in the road and would like to involve everyone as far as possible, that is if they would like to be involved.  We keep a weather eye on the oldest residents .  There is no need to be lonely or bored as there is a lot of volunteering for older people, but people need to be approached as they hesitate to come forward.  Once they do get involved they form lasting friendships.

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